Addendum 3301.5: SCP-3301 Testing and Gameplay Logs

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    In keeping with proper Foundation testing protocols, all instances of SCP-3301’s active state are to be recorded for analysis and archival. The following is an example of proper test log format, and should be used in all future instances of test logging.

SCP-3301 Test and Gameplay Log:

Log ID: 3301|001

Participants: Dr. Andrew Richards and Agent Anna Lang, Dr. Michael St. Clair and Dr. Isaac Baker, Dr. Nicholas Quinn and Dr. Django Bridge, Agent Julian Calloway and Agent Jasper Jenkins

Game Board: The Garden of Eden

Winner: Dr. Nicholas Quinn and Dr. Django Bridge

Victory Condition: MR. ESCHATOLOGY

Runtime: 3h 14m 58s

Payout: $1,750

Game Summary: Dr. Richards got out to an early start when Agent Lang managed to contain two entities within the first five turns, having drawn the card “Mr. Containment’s Vac-n-Suck” on the first turn. However, the tides began to turn when Dr. Bridge, on the direction of Dr. Quinn, opened a secret treasure chest in a cave and found the card “Sacrifice”, a red card that he then used to summon “Planet of Ten Thousand Fingers”, a supreme divine orange card.

While Dr. St. Clair and Agent Calloway’s teams were fending off attacks from the first supreme divine being, Dr. Quinn drew the red card “Error in the Database”, which summoned the supreme divine being “Mary Nakayama” on the 16th turn. This being immediately dispatched Agent Calloway’s team, which was already weakened by the “Planet of Ten Thousand Fingers”.

However, on the 29th turn, Dr. Richards drew a purple card, Ms. Sweetie, which cast a sugary haze across the entire map. Agent Lang then spent the next three turns attacking Ms. Sweetie, attempting to contain the entity before Dr. Quinn and Dr. Bridge could summon another supreme divine being. Their efforts were disrupted by Dr. Baker, who sniped Agent Lang from a nearby hillside, and then began attacking the already damaged Ms. Sweetie.

On the next turn, Dr. Quinn drew the card ”Upgrade”, which he used on an item that Dr. Bridge had recovered called “Puzzle Box”. The result was a card called “Celestial Puzzle Box”, which Dr. Quinn used to summon “A Clockwork God”, the third supreme divine being, which immediately ended the game. After the usual fireworks and musical celebration, the voice of the announcer declared that Dr. Quinn and Dr. Bridge had become MR. ESCHATOLOGY.

At the conclusion of the game, Dr. Quinn and Dr. Bridge were awarded their payout, a gold bar worth exactly $1,750.

Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Quinn: Alright, so… let’s see. I’m going to use “Clockwork Fanaticism” on Django.

Dr. St. Clair: What’s that do?

Dr. Quinn: It, uh… imbues him with clockwork powers. (Pauses) I think that’s it. (To Bridge) You noticing anything different down there?

Dr. Bridge: (Distantly) Yes, actually. I seem to have had my insides replaced with gears and pulleys. Oh! (Pauses) So now I seem to have something being created inside my stomach. Hang on. (Pauses) Yes, I’ve now deposited it into my hands.

Dr. Quinn: Cool, I get to draw a card. (Pauses to read) So that’s called a “Puzzle Box”. It doesn’t look like it has any stats. Can it do anything?

Dr. Bridge: Doesn’t, uh… doesn’t seem to do anything.

Dr. Quinn: Huh. Alright. I guess we’ll just discard that later.

[END LOG]

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Quinn: (Laughs) OK, so listen to this. This is called “Error in the Database”, and if we find a computer-

Dr. Bridge: Which I’m standing right next to, yes.

Dr. Quinn: -then I can summon a supreme divine-

Agent Calloway: Oh my god this is bullshit.

Agent Jenkins: What? What’s going on up there?

Dr. Quinn: -called Mary Nakayama. Bite my ass, Calloway.

Agent Jenkins: Hey Julian? Something going on up there? Because things are starting to get a little spooky down here.

Agent Calloway: Hang on, uh… I’ve got… uh…

Agent Jenkins: So are you going to—

Agent Jenkins is suddenly annihilated when a spectral entity appears where he was standing.

Agent Calloway: Oh goddammit.

[END LOG]

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. St. Clair: Take the shot, Baker!

The sound of a distant gunshot.

Dr. St. Clair: Hell yeah!

Dr. Richards: Anna? Anna? Ah, fuck it. What is that thing, and when did you draw it? I didn’t see it when I divined you earlier.

Dr. St. Clair: In the last turn! How clutch is that?

Dr. Baker: Mike? Hey, Mike? Did we win?

Dr. St. Clair: Nah, not yet, but you get another shot into that Mister and we will.

Dr. Quinn: Is that so, Michael?

Dr. St. Clair: Oh no you don’t. Don’t you try any more of your eschatology bullshit, Nicholas.

Dr. Quinn: Regrettably, all I have is eschatology bullshit! Behold, I use “Upgrade” on this “Puzzle Box”, to create… (pauses) a Celestial Puzzle Box! Django, open that bad boy up!

Dr. Bridge: You got it. Come on out, biggun. (The sound of grinding metal is heard in the background)

Announcer’s Voice: That’s it! The game is over! Congratulations to Django Bridge and Nicholas Quinn; you have become MR. ESCHATOLOGY!

Dr. St. Clair: God fucking dammit Nick, I almost had that one.